Date: Jul 28, 2006 9:25 PM
Subject: Responce Ms Saaleha Bamjee
Dear Miss Bamjee,
I am in receipt of your mail and all contents noted.You have to take heart for all that has befallen you, for God almighty knows best. God watches over us and knows the right time to intervene on our behalf. You should count yourself very lucky, a whole new thing is about happening to you. You guessed right. I am french and have also attached my international passport for your own perusals. Thanks for sending me yours also. But at this time, we cannot mix business with pleasure. What is most important now is how to claim your inheritance fund.
Your sister’s husband mailed me also and I have already instructed him on what to do to claim this fund. It is important, I let you know about this. Is he also acting on your behalf???
It will be important, that you all join hands to claim this inheritance fund. I await your urgent responce.
Dearest darling Bertrand baby-smoochies pumpkinpie mopaniworm,
Please accept my deepest, sincerest apologies for not replying to you with the promptness you deserve, my angelcake tripepudding. I have been unable to access the internet as Mams caught me pilfering her brassieres. The discovery was made after Mams couldn’t find the orange and black satin lace hoochie-mama set Papi bought her when they were still rutting like rabbits in the early days (before he ran off with tranny-ho-bitch-slut).
Expecting a gentleman caller, Mams was furious when she couldnt find her ling-er-ray, for we have reached the direst of circumstances and she has decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and sell her body for our survival. She is a strong woman, and I admire her resolve, May the Good Lord Bless her. Admittedly she’s lost some of her youthful lustre, but none of her vigour and like Mams says, all women look the same in the dark, so her hare-lip and whiskers will not in any way detract from her sensous appeal. After seeing her wobble around our shack in nothing but the bounteous folds of skin the Good Lord knitted her in, I had to confess to my dishonesty and misbehaviour. I’ve spent the weekend repenting and self-flagellating in the outdoor lavatory, ruminating over my ill-actions May the Good Lord have mercy on my wicked pathetic scrap of a soul. Oh Bertrand, I am not worthy of your love!!
Anyhoo, Costa is no longer being kind to me. He demanded I bring him more brassieres, and I refuse to dabble further in a life of crime for him. It was only after I presented him with my own delicates, that he reluctantly allowed me the time to type out this email to you my beloved.
I’ve tried to open the picture you’ve attached but it seems its not working. It does not matter. My love for you transcends superficiality such as looks. I will have you for however you appear, for my love is pure and untainted by the bombastic materialism of the earthly plain. You’re a lawyer right? You must be very financially fortunate then.
Yes, I have shared your propostion with my sister’s husband, and he is quite keen on following through with this. What must we do in order to claim this inheritance, and more importantly, when do i get to meet with you?
I must, my love, see you. My body burns with unholy desire of all things carnal.
May the Good Lord bless you with Cows of milk-gravid udders,
My Love and Intimates,
mwah. mwah. spank.