another one that slipped pass spam-control

From: angela kennedy
Subject: HELLO
My dear, I am miss Melina from Juba, Sudan, single and 19 years old. After accessing your details in the internet site i copied out only your email address. Immediately after going through your information i made up my mind to contact you for long term relationship, and to be my financial manager because you are my choice of trust and i see nothing wrong with the choice that i have made in you. Now that i am in a state of absolute confusion I must let you know that my daddy was the Financial controller to the Common Wealth North African Region.
My parents died during the war in my country and i was able to escape and came to this senegal where my daddy’s money is. I am presently in refugee camp in Senegal. The following information is my purpose of choosing you. Before my daddy died he made me the beneficiary of the amount of 9 Million gbp£ in his account with Islamic Bank in Dakar, Senegal. I arrived Senegal without any pucket money left with me. from the refugee camp i went to Islamic bank and the banker in charge said that because of Senegal bank law that their bank cannot deduct any money from my daddy’s account to give to me until i appoint a foreign partner who will claim and receive the money according to the written agreement that my daddy signed with them. the money is my only hope in life. As soon as Islamic Bank transfers the money into your bank account you will come to senegal and take me to your country. If you cannot come to Senegal you will send down enough money from my money in your account for my journey to meet you in your country airport and you will be at your airport to welcome me.I want you to help me receive the amount and also be my financial and investment manager. i will be very glad to also have a detailed information about you.
Reply me only through my own email address: Melinasalman111@hotmail.com ONLY.
With all my Love
Miss Melina Salmanwith all my love

—–

From: Saaleha Bamjee
Date: 16 Jan 2008 16:49
Subject: re: HELLO
To: Melinasalman111@hotmail.com

My Dear Melina,

Let me start of by saying how pretty and quaint are those little emoticons you’ve included in your email to endear yourself to me.
At 19 and single, you sound like quite a catch. However, I’m straight and some serious commitment issues on my part will not allow for any long-term relationships. My therapist says it’s because I manifest nymphomanic tendencies and being with one person forever scares the f**k out of me (pun intended). The most I can offer you is a facebook friend invite and a good poke now and then.

You’re in a state of absolute confusion? Honey dear, so am I!! You see, my daddy used to be the Chief Treasurer of the Government Bank here in the Republic of Southern Africa. He fled the terrible and evil apartheid regime, and left behind 100million US dollars in a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands that can only be accessed by a Sudanese national who hails from Juba! My daddy’s quite clever and did this so that the 100million US dollars would remain far away from the grubby hands of the evil grubby-handed people he used to call his advisors. I received your email and was immediately concerned as I thought you had somehow found out about my father’s hidden wealth and were trying to swindle me. But I have a knack for reading people’s characters, and I can tell you’re an honest and God-fearing young woman who will prove to be my only hope in life! This is the miracle of Fate and God’s Hand.

We must act swiftly, without a seconds’ hesitance. I’ve not had pucket money for so so long. Send me all your personal details, including your credit card number with its expiry date and CVV number on the back. We require this to verify your identity, and facilitate the process of releasing the 100million US dollars.

I would not recommend you come to our airport as there’s been terrible stories about tourists being hijacked and forced to pledge allegiance to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, oh what the hell, we call him Zuma. Like that Yahoo! game where the frog shoots coloured balls at other coloured balls, only here the balls are very different.

With all my love,

Saaleha

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saaleha

I am a writer and photographer (look up my work on www.shootcake.com) based in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have an MA in Creative Writing from the university currently known as Rhodes. My writing accolades include winning the 2014 Writivism Short Story Prize and the 2020 Ingrid Jonker Poetry Prize for my debut collection, Zikr.

13 thoughts on “another one that slipped pass spam-control”

  1. nympho ne? Your ma would be shocked and so would mr. Bamjee.hyphen.

    I think we should 419 some bloggers. For educational purposes and stupid tax purposes. Then we can have pucket of money too. and with my name people will think it’s fake anyway. what do you think?

  2. Yay, Saaleha dealing with spam are my favorite episodes on electricspaghetti :).

    Let me know if there is a reply, i got a reply to mine last time, she said the main thing she wanted was to help the poor people, we can worry about the madressas later on. I was bit disappointed so i didnt reply.

    I would have tried a different tack, maybe accepting her overtures of love and in the end say “WHO IS ANGELA KENNEDY???”.

    Your nympho pun was hilarious

  3. In wish I had pucket money too.

    I dont quite know about the frogs shooting coloured balls but thats my favourite bit.

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