Day One

It was hard for me to bask in a spiritual infusion today, when my brain must’ve been trying to escape through my eye sockets, for all the pain I blinked back.
Hello Caffeine Dependency, you are such a bastard.
A website I was working on had its database eaten by some e-tokoloshe.
That translated into two full days of work having to be compressed into a couple of quicksand hours in order for us not to look like inept fools should some client surf over. This excluded the two hours of downtime we experienced due to the power being cut-off because someone was having a Marie Antoinette moment down at the municipality.
It takes a strong person to not want to smash up the internet and unleash an inner Gustav on anyone within arms reach.
I am not a strong person.
I tried to smile, and I failed.
The frustration and the physical fatigue gave my aura the brown-colour wash of a party-pooper. I could see relief iron out the wrinkles on my boss’ face when I asked to leave early.
I admit the juggling is a feat and I’m trying very hard to keep work, pray and kitchen in smooth circles up in the air.
But this is only Day One. I have an entire month (and beyond) to work out my arms.
And there is something truly magic and complete about breaking your fast with someone who builds your world.

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I am a writer and photographer (look up my work on based in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have an MA in Creative Writing from the university currently known as Rhodes. My writing accolades include winning the 2014 Writivism Short Story Prize and the 2020 Ingrid Jonker Poetry Prize for my debut collection, Zikr.

19 thoughts on “Day One”

  1. when we start leaving out the sunnah’s in our life, life becomes a juggle.

    going to the musjid is sunnah and the prophet also said , if it were not for the woman ( whose place is at home by the way ) he would burn the homes of those men who did not go to the musjid.

    so it dosent matter what you or i think, if you believe in ‘LA ILAAHA ILLALA’ then the next part of that is ” MUHAMMED DUR RASOOLULAH’ which we all , including myself fail to recognise.

    may Allah guide us all

    maaf and duas

  2. Ramadaan Mubarak Saaleha, Inshallah with time things will get easier. Lovely ending too.

    The Hubby usually wait for the Adha’an, feeds me some Kajoor and than heads off to the Masjid.

    PS Great Venting Post!


  3. a shame really, that anonymous commentators could be so judgemental whilst hiding their identities.

    perhaps if your husband was home too, you would be juggling less, and perhaps a bit more accomodating of behaviour different from your own?

  4. ramadhan mubarak my sweetheart!

    i’m sure your struggles are all worth it. sounds like you had a similar day to mine – Day1 wasnt ideal but it is all part of the Test, guess.

    pray that this time next year, i am also blessed with my life partner, inshallah. so whoever he is, i am giving him at least a year to surface!

  5. Ramadaan Mubarak to all: may your own trials and tests be light on your spirit:)
    My own life plans mean that come next Ramadaan, I will be juggling different things, hopefully there’ll be more writing involved and some interesting projects – I’ll be bringing soul back Dionysus:)
    Different strokes for different folks I guess, or endings in this case, I personally hold that Iftaar time is family time, and that there is barkat in that. Or how about the entire family going to the mosque? Great blessing in that too for sure. And you’re right hey, Allahu Aalam.

  6. Wait till you get kids! Try juggling that!
    As for your happy ending, its quite sad in fact! You should encourage your beloved to go to the musjid to end his fast, he will come back with noor and pure love! And Allah, knows best. Maaf and duas.

  7. I juggle those circles as well, but we’ll get there, Inshallah…

    At iftaar, just-just as the athaan goes, my hubby sits ready with his date to feed me and vice versa. There’s nothing that could replace that feeling.

    Great venting post 😛

  8. I walked in and started speaking I was interrupted by a nice colleague who had an idea. To which I replied, what are you doing heathen? I may have also said dont make me gut you today.

    Bad day and I feel terrible for getting snappy. Nicotine withdrawal is not as pleasant as I had hoped. Damn Secret! Visualise my big toe.

    Addicts of the world unite!

    Word verification: Crqpiya – Russian for crappier. Sign of the day ahead?

  9. Indeed, it is amazing starting the month in your new family 🙂 New traditions to begin, new situations to face, new hopes for your internal capability to use this month as a platform for building a better you.

    may the 2 of you have a beautiful first Ramadaan together.

  10. You got over one addiction, you can get over another, though you might not want to.

    Party pooper bit was hilarious – Vintage Saaleha 🙂

  11. Well if it’s any consolation day one was pretty much the same for me. I can’t ever remember work being this busy. Oh well, it’s day two… Now if only we can find the time to fit in all the things we should be doing. Seems like such a waste to be spending this month having sleepless nights over work!

  12. Loved the ending.. MAde it seem like a fairy tale..

    Well if it helps, the e-tokolshe seemed to have forgotten that i am the administrator of MY OWN SITE..

    Good Luck and enjoy the rest of the month

  13. perhaps to start by saying something like “ramadan mubarak” would be appropriate. but seeing as i’m an incorrigible kotchcow, and, to be sure, something of a heathen (at least for as long as i have been too old to collect eid-ie), i’ll just say something else.

    now i have been reading your blog for a few months, and it strikes me that you’re wasted in a job, especially one in a soulless industry. You are a really good writer…and i wonder if you wouldn’t be better served by spending your time practicing this art. who knows, poverty might turn out to be a small price to pay for a life not lived in the separation of being and action.

    on the other hand, what do i know?

  14. ditto with dew drops… that was very special 🙂

    I hope you get over the caffeine dependency thing.. I myself have to fend off the Nutella pangs!

    The eecards you made were awesome!

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