It’s not that I
don’t want you.
Almighty Forbid.
May that not be taken for prayer.
It’s just that
I don’t want you
right just now.
If I were having
guests over for lunch,
would I tell them to come
at 10am?
They’d eat their fingers
while I chopped onions.
I want there to be
stories ready
for when you arrive.
Of how we went and got new
tongues in Damascus,
a rich world of words
that would be part of your inheritance,
Before we wrap and bundle you,
I want reams of my written to coddle you.
It’s not that I’m selfish,
but selfless.
I want there to be more of me
to give to you.
It’s not that I
don’t want you.
I even have a name
for you.
“One who guides”
But not right now.
blood-relief
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Thought provoking. BUt I wonder, are we ever ready? I had my first son when I was 18. There’s five of them now. I’m not bitter. But there are days when I am overwhelmed. I have many regrets. But never, ever, would I regret those trusting faces.
I agree on the fact that we need to give ourselves time to be ready; because it can be overwhelming for it to happen when you’re still trying to settle into a new life.
But, what we think of as “ready”, and the reality of what “ready” actually is – may be different.
Only Allah knows when we truly are ready – and when He wants to give us this blessing, He does.
Contraception only gives us the illusion of control. Many people can attest to the fact that there’s no such thing as being 100% ‘safe’.
Psychologically, we need to feel like we have some sort of control – and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. It’s human nature, isn’t it?
But the bigger thing to remember is that in reality, we are not in control. Only Allah is. And He knows when you’ll be ready.
May your journey through life prepare you for the great blessing that awaits, insha-Allah.
this is nice and I like that it’s open to interpretation
… grow as husband and wife before you grow together as parents …
explore your dreams and his, and when the time is right for you both, the time will be right for your babies.
this is lovely.
and yes, i so relate too!
simply amazing
the longer u wait, the more you cherish
That was so beautiful to read, so peaceful. I felt so moved by this post and Im so very far from being in the same situation.
When they do come you will give everything you have and love every moment of it. I wish you happiness, good timing and wonderful children who become what you dream for them
We need to grow together in a marriage before growing together as a family 🙂
Such beautiful words Saaleha. When you put it that way, you dont sound selfish.
Yet I think I’m being selfish about the same issue.
It all lies in your taqdeer.
this is lovely, dear lady 🙂
more of you …. inshallah, even your babies will be that ‘more of you’ 😉
pleasant thoughts…
I believe that you’re a beeter human being to others when you are allowed to take care of yourself first. You take your time, and you’ll be better mom for it.
You give alot of yourself and it changes everything…Wait and when your time comes you will embrace it! 🙂
I suppose it is something that will change your life forever. A part of me would love to right now, but the other part is not so sure I am ready just yet for someone to be totally dependant on me.
Beautiful!
THIS AINT SELFISH…
it has the selfless you all over in BOLD!
I fully agree, the reason why I dont want to have my second one and I personally believe (and I’ve seem many cases) where mother become bitter. I’m sure you’ve noticed it too, not many people can sacrifice and not hold it against the world.
Not really selfish, it’s a normal feeling. But I promise it’s worth it! You’ll get the time to do the other things later.
No my sweetie
not selfish at all!
I feel the same way 🙂
I have four names picked out.
Inshallah the time will be the right time when it is the time.