(A piece I started years ago and rounded off today)

Talk to me dammit, Say something, anything. Please. I can’t stand it when you get like this. Really, I can’t handle it. Why the hell aren’t you speaking? Come on, please. Please? I’m begging you. What did I do? Tell me. Come on, just tell me. Don’t look away from me. You can’t avoid facing me forever you know? I’m always going to be here. We’re not leaving this table until you say something.

Is it because Sarah said I kissed Jillian at the party? That bitch has always had it in for me. Since that time with Sam. You can’t believe her. Really. I’m not lying. Why would I lie to you? Please, believe me; I’d never go near Jillian. She’s in my writing class. That’s it. I hardly speak to her. She was at the party with Aaron anyway. Sarah must’ve seen us talking about the Hemingway assignment. You know how she likes making up stories just so people will think she’s interesting. Remember when she told you she saw me holding Carla’s hand in the parking lot? You didn’t believe her then because you knew I’d never even go anywhere near that slut. I mean, Carla? Seriously, she’s been with half the guys in this place and most of the girls too. Jillian isn’t much better either. Im telling you, I love you too much to waste my time with skanks.

Say something. It’s not about Katherine, is it? Then what is it? Whatever Sarah’s told you is a lie. You know how she can’t stand me because I told Sam what a two-timing whore she is.

Oh God, you’re crying? Why? I swear to you. I haven’t been unfaithful. Never. Except for that one time. But that was it. I swear. I was drunk remember? I didn’t know who I left with that night. I promised you that I’d never lose control like that ever again. Please, please. Stop crying. Here’s a tissue. Here, let me wipe it away. What? Why are you pulling away? God, that’s violent. What have I done? Look, you’ve gone and dropped the mushrooms. What’s wrong with you?

That look in your eyes, stop it. I hate it when you stare me down like that. As if you’re trying to peel away layers of me and expose me. Why? I’m not hiding anything. If you just tell me what’s bothering you, we can fix this. Like adults. Come on dammit!

Ok, I’m sorry for shouting. It’s not my place to throw a tantrum. You obviously think I’ve done something terrible. But I haven’t dammit. I haven’t done anything as heinous to warrant this reaction from you.

Ok ok, I’ll admit it; there was that other thing with Cassie. But really, it happened when we were having that break remember, and things were still bad between us. I swear, I never went near her again.

Oh God, why are you acting like this? Come on, let’s be adult about this. And Jenny was a once-off thing, I told you about her remember? What? Why are you pointing like that? The waitress? Why would I have anything to do with the waitress? She’s not even that attractive.

What is wrong with you? You don’t look right. Oh my God, you’re turning blue. What’s happening? The dessert? You’re pointing to the dessert? Yes? The Zabaglione? Are you choking? No? You can’t be choking on custard? The dessert? What about the dessert dammit?!

Waitress! Waitress! There’s something wrong with my girlfriend. Please! Can you help! I think it’s the dessert, something in the dessert? Strawberries. Oh my God, she’s allergic!

Yes? Your handbag? What do you want from your handbag? Your pills! Let me help you! Dear God, please be okay. Here’s the water, let me help you. Ok, ok, that’s it. Ok, it’s looking better. There’s colour in your face again. Thank God! Wow, that was a close one. How are you feeling? Do you want to go to the emergency room? No? You’re ok? That’s a relief!

Hey, where are you going? Wait, you can’t go like that? You’re still not looking well enough to be on your own. Wait! Wait! I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to tell you all those things, I mean, I didn’t mean to do all those things to you. Those women meant nothing, nothing I tell you. You’re the only one I love! The only one I care about! Wait, Wait! Fuck.