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I gots the 419… (4) – Poems, Pictures & Prose by Saaleha Idrees Bamjee

I gots the 419… (4)

From: Sami Deckman (
Date: Dec 11, 2006 7:35 PM

Compliments of the Day!

I am Mr.Sami Deckman former staff of Ministry of Tourism presently undergoing medical Treatment for cancer. I am the only surviving son of late Mr. Jeff Deckmann who worked with National Petroleum Corporation for many years as a contract enginer before he died in the year 2002 during the Ivorian political crisis,when his car was ambushed by a mob and he, my mother and my little sister were mobbed to death.

Since the death I decided to devort my life to God and the work of God. When my late Father was alive he deposited the sum of $1.5Million which was an upfront mobilisation payment for an onshore engineering contract awarded to him during the military regime. Gen.Robert Guei with one Bank in Europe.

But,as the regime collapsed and with the death of my father, the money has remained unclaimed.And i have been suffering from cancer,recently my doctor told me that my condition has worsened and i may not survive unless by special grace of God though what disturbs me most is that I am diagnosed to be having spinal abnormality.

For this I decided to donate the fund to a church or better still a God fearing individual that will use it for positive investment of which the profit will be used to support orphanage homes, widows and propagating the word of God,also to help me secure medical treatment in the western world were my illness can be better managed,after the funds might have been successfully transfered to you,if i am still alive.

I took this decision because I don’t have children that will inherit this money and my relatives are not Christians and had been maltreating me with the only motive to take away our properties including the funds hence I don’t want my father’s hard earned money to be misused by this unbelievers. I therefore request you to accept this proposal and help me to achieve my heart desire.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the lord one day. If you will be of assistance, I will surely appreciate and thank you for your kindness in giving me this help.


Sami Deckman

From: Saaleha
To: Sami Deckman
Date: Dec 12, 2006 3:49 PM
Subject: Re: GOOD DAY TO YOU

Dearest Sami Deckman,

And compliments of the day to you Deckman! You’re certainly a brave little soldier, quite chipper for a poor sod with cancer. Please accept my sympathies for the truly tragic and pathetic life station you are currently boarded at.

I am, however not a Christian. I follow the Protocols of The Temple of Former Day Chicken-Spring (wah-wah-good-stuff-higgledy-hey). I have ‘devorted’ my life to the Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo).

To follow in the Path of Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo) is to follow the path of Righteousness and Light. For centuries, our faith has been dumbed down by popular churches who offer Sunday night Bingo and free booze and crackers. Many once-fervent believers have been waylaid by these temptations and have lost the Path. May Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo) cluck upon them kindly and with great mercy. You see, even barbecue-bound sinners are redeemed by Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo)’s wings.

The Path of Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo) is the Path of Truth. Why else would everything taste like chicken? It is all in Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo)’s Great Wisdom and Final Plan.

Question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Answer: “To get to the other side.”
(excerpt from Book IIIVI of Good-Licking Fingers (Seventh Treatise) – Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goos)’s Good Eggs)

Could the Truth be given any more clarity? The Other Side? Yes, Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo) is clear!

Save yourself brother!! Especially now in your final days!! Become one with Chicken, for the redemption of your poor oblivious sinner’s soul!!

BBQ-best wishes to you, May my humble efforts succeed in showing you the TRUE PATH.

wah-wah-good-stuff-piggeldy-poop greetings,


P.S The Temple is undergoing renovations and your $1.5Million will go a long way in assisting us with the construction of the giant fibreglass representation of the head of Great Chicken (wah-wah-goody-goo).

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I am a writer and photographer (look up my work on based in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have an MA in Creative Writing from the university currently known as Rhodes. My writing accolades include winning the 2014 Writivism Short Story Prize and the 2020 Ingrid Jonker Poetry Prize for my debut collection, Zikr.

9 thoughts on “I gots the 419… (4)”

  1. I re-iterate what someone earlier commented…How do these people get your email adress….and how do some people still fall for the 419 scam?

    I actually know someone that was completely ruined by a 419 scam, but that was years ago, before email, when they still mailed you.

    End of the day I guess it’s greed and the want easy money that someone gets tempted.

    BTW, you have an imagination that is well beyond the scope of the normal indian chick. Very cool, I’m fast becoming a fan.

  2. lol saals, so my question was and is still: how on earth do these ppl find you????

    and what in your opinion is the likelyhood of a reply to your email? this is a question i figure u would be quite capable of answering because of your ‘past’ dealings with these poor bastards that have loads of cash to give away to poor needy ppl worshipping the Great Chicken god instead of the their children who have either died due to malnutrition or had the unfortunate fate of being exposed to radiation while being used as guinea pigs to study the effects of radiations on their bile movements.

    nice post. 😉

  3. LMFAO!!!
    that was a good one.
    you know, you could proably start a viable cult. you should think about that. i’d join.

  4. Daaarling, you have too much time on your hands. You need to find a way of being gainfully employed. Maybe by making some …fried chicken!?!

    I normally just delete these mails.

  5. Hahaha… Chicken lickin is a church.

    Not so far fro mthe truth for some people.

    wah wah goody goo in the house.

  6. ROFL. Sals I think you broke the law somewhere. I could never have thought of that in a million years. ./rolls up sleeves and gives FU the Rock stare…

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