Donald Dosi hails from Sudan

My response to this charmer had been lying dead in drafts for a few months until today’s dispatch.

from donald dosi <donalddosi44@msn.com>
reply-to donalddosi@gmail.com
date 24 June 2010 17:01
subject business partnership,
mailed-by msn.com

My Name is Donald Dosi hails from Sudan I am here for investment purposes .

I wish to invest in construction, hardware and other related industries that I may be asked to invest into in as much as the industry is lucrative. I also has an eye into fast -food franchising where there is an opportunity ,If there is any other areas which you have interest for us to go into the industry as partners feel free to contact me for a discussion.or you can give me your number to contact you

Presently I reside in Duban Kwazulu Natal and am Eveready to go any other province that I may be called upon to form a business partnership,
Thank you.
Yours faithfully
Donald Dosi

from Saaleha Idrees Bamjee
to donalddosi@gmail.com
date 16 September 2010 13:20
subject Re: business partnership,
mailed-by gmail.com

Hi Donald,

My name is Padma Pakori walks with the Lord. I am here to do His work.

I am sorry to hear about your eye. I lost the tip of my thumb to a polony slicing machine once, so you could say I have my hand in the processed meat industry.

I don’t have a head for business, but I do have a heart and soul for The Lord. As you have expressed an interest in investing towards construction, I would like to approach you with my idea of establishing the Padma Pakori Ministries for Living Easy.

Our church’s philosophy is built on the premise that God doesn’t want his loyal servants to slog too hard for salvation in the hereafter. We’re all about the 3 P’s; Praising, Prostrating and Partying.

I would like to build the first ministry at what used to be the base of the Athlone Towers in Cape Town. It’s not quite Ground Zero and I’m certain Capetonians will welcome the erection of the our twenty-storey fibreglass mascot, Hi-Jinx the Happy Hippo. The beautifully rendered semi-aquatic sunglass and sarong-wearing beast will prove to be a much-loved landmark and guiding angel.

I haven’t quite worked out a budget for the construction yet, as it’s just been a blur-tinged dream for so long. This is where your super-smart savviness comes into play. It is surely through the blessings of Hi-Jinx and the Lord that your generous offer for a business partnership has dropped into my inbox so unexpectedly! Praise! Prostrate! Party!

I have an idea, though, for generating revenue to cover our running costs (includes costumes, lighting and smoke machines used during the services) and this is to have each congregant pay a cover charge before entering the weekend services.

I’m certain the church’s guiding principles of universal tolerance, universal love and the universal pursuit of pleasure, will ensure we have a steady stream of worshippers with welcome wallets.

Thank you for your most generous offer of assistance Donald Dosi hails from Sudan.

I hope we are able to welcome you into our loving family soon.

Praise! Prostrate! Party!

Love
Padma Pakori walks with the Lord.

Published by

saaleha

I am a writer and photographer (look up my work on www.shootcake.com) based in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have an MA in Creative Writing from the university currently known as Rhodes. My writing accolades include winning the 2014 Writivism Short Story Prize and the 2020 Ingrid Jonker Poetry Prize for my debut collection, Zikr.

5 thoughts on “Donald Dosi hails from Sudan”

  1. 🙂 I’m glad it was received well, though I’m not sure how it will fare on Donald’s end.
    It’s been far too long since I’ve done one of these 419 larks.

  2. It’s 1am. I’m doped up on flu meds. I can visualise this erection. Hahaha!

    Hand in meat processing industry ! That killed me!

    Praise! Prostrate! Party!

    Saaleha, you made my flu ridden day end wonderfully 😉

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